StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · THE RULES OF RURAL ALBERTA.<< >>Post Follow-up
johnpaulca
10,091 posts
msg #69819
Ignore johnpaulca
12/12/2008 2:48:16 PM

BTW- Alberta is a province in Western Canada...my province.

THE RULES OF RURAL Alberta ARE AS FOLLOWS

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy 1 goes east and west, Hwy 2 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $365,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Alberta waves. It's called 'being friendly ' . Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Alberta Hockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. 2 inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.




chetron
2,817 posts
msg #69820
Ignore chetron
12/12/2008 3:07:34 PM

LOL, DO YOU FOLKS REALLY WAVE?????????????


chetron
2,817 posts
msg #69821
Ignore chetron
12/12/2008 3:11:08 PM

I GET DOUBLE LOOKS FOR SAYING, "HELLO" TO PEOPLE IN THE STREET.

I WOULDN'T RISK WAVING, LOL.


johnpaulca
10,091 posts
msg #69826
Ignore johnpaulca
12/12/2008 5:11:50 PM

Chet....we do wave.

chetron
2,817 posts
msg #69829
Ignore chetron
12/12/2008 6:32:56 PM

SOUNDS REAL NICE, JP.

EXPORT IT, AND BE A MILLIONAIRE!


Wowzers
35 posts
msg #69834
Ignore Wowzers
12/12/2008 8:07:58 PM

ROFL!
Funny AND true!
Between living in Edmonton and staying in rural towns all over Alberta, you really notice the difference in mentalities

thahound
5 posts
msg #69838
Ignore thahound
12/13/2008 1:17:27 PM


What kind of sad life do you lead to only use salt, pepper ,and ketchup? Heathens.

TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #69839
Ignore TheRumpledOne
12/13/2008 6:09:56 PM

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What, no GREY POUPON?

SAVAGES!



StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · THE RULES OF RURAL ALBERTA.<< >>Post Follow-up

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