StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · JOKES<< 1 2 3 4 5 ... 26 >>Post Follow-up
TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #48653
Ignore TheRumpledOne
12/16/2006 11:08:46 AM

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman

wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't

place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?" To which

she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his

mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his

wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party

that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while

your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes

and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher


ham1198
169 posts
msg #48670
Ignore ham1198
12/16/2006 9:34:53 PM

...if you haven't heard this, it's pretty funny:

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com...


traderblues
195 posts
msg #49598
Ignore traderblues
1/26/2007 5:41:42 PM

A gas station in Kentucky was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up".

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged. He doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged ----- my wife won twice last week."




TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #49599
Ignore TheRumpledOne
1/26/2007 5:42:08 PM

Oldie but goodie...


lockwhiz
206 posts
msg #49605
Ignore lockwhiz
1/26/2007 7:05:41 PM

"I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!"

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach-ache and legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again.
" Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."


rtucker
318 posts
msg #49618
Ignore rtucker
modified
1/27/2007 12:27:36 AM

a

maxreturn
745 posts
msg #49620
Ignore maxreturn
modified
1/27/2007 8:08:01 AM

rtucker....PRICELESS!



TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #49624
Ignore TheRumpledOne
1/27/2007 11:18:04 AM

rtucker...

Life is just too dang funny, isn't it?





TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #49826
Ignore TheRumpledOne
2/4/2007 10:58:08 PM

Son asked his mother the following question:

"Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."


TheRumpledOne
6,358 posts
msg #49827
Ignore TheRumpledOne
2/4/2007 10:59:34 PM

This is too funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GSwLKgbEk


StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · JOKES<< 1 2 3 4 5 ... 26 >>Post Follow-up

*** Disclaimer *** StockFetcher.com does not endorse or suggest any of the securities which are returned in any of the searches or filters. They are provided purely for informational and research purposes. StockFetcher.com does not recommend particular securities. StockFetcher.com, Vestyl Software, L.L.C. and involved content providers shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken based on the content.


Copyright 2016 - Vestyl Software L.L.C.Terms of Service | License | Questions or comments? Contact Us
EOD Data sources: DDFPlus & CSI Data Quotes delayed during active market hours. Delay times are at least 15 mins for NASDAQ, 20 mins for NYSE and Amex. Delayed intraday data provided by DDFPlus