StockFetcher Forums · General Discussion · JOKES<< 1 ... 8 9 10 11 12 ... 26 >>Post Follow-up
nikoschopen
2,824 posts
msg #62514
Ignore nikoschopen
modified
5/12/2008 2:03:43 PM

--- removed by administrator ---

ludowillems
90 posts
msg #62547
Ignore ludowillems
5/13/2008 4:20:35 AM

-removed by administrator-: probably a joke that contained a reference to a female bodypart named t*t, or even worse, God beware! the act of reproduction, commonly named f**k.

johnpaulca
10,087 posts
msg #62724
Ignore johnpaulca
5/16/2008 11:45:54 PM

The O'Mallys

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks, "Can I buy you a drink?"... "Why of course", comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland", replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course", replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin", comes the reply.

"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course", replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?", he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again


johnpaulca
10,087 posts
msg #63191
Ignore johnpaulca
6/1/2008 1:11:42 AM

It was the first day of school and a new student named
Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give meLiberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more! about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!"
And Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005."



conyeuchua
83 posts
msg #63277
Ignore conyeuchua
6/2/2008 11:00:16 PM

Jun 2, 2008
This is a very dangerous formation, as detailed in Nassim Taleb's Book The Black Swan.

Traders should be very careful anytime this exponentially regressed, parabolic, dreaded chart appears.



Source: Barry Ritholtz's blog

http://bigpicture.typepad.com/comments/2008/06/uh-oh-dangerous.html#comments

lvainik
52 posts
msg #63288
Ignore lvainik
6/3/2008 10:54:24 AM

A blonde needed some extra money and walks over to the neighbours.

Is there anything I can do?, anything?.

Well, he reckons , you can paint the porch ; but I only have a bit of paint , probably not enough...

She soon gets done and rings the bell.
I was able to paint it and there was enough paint for 2 coats!

Wow, he said.

She added ; BTW it's not a Porsche it's a Lexus!

johnpaulca
10,087 posts
msg #63292
Ignore johnpaulca
6/3/2008 11:18:49 AM

I better hide my Lexus from that blonde...lol

luc1grunt
622 posts
msg #63297
Ignore luc1grunt
6/3/2008 12:49:00 PM

I thought the same thing John.

ludowillems
90 posts
msg #63305
Ignore ludowillems
6/3/2008 3:40:46 PM

actually not a joke, a dilemma:
1. if you drop a buttered toast, il will invariably land on the buttered side down.
2.if you trow a cat up in the air, it will always land on its feet.
3. What happens if you stick a toast, buttered side up, on the back of a cat and trow that combination up in the air?
Ludo wileems

ludowillems
90 posts
msg #63306
Ignore ludowillems
6/3/2008 3:42:01 PM

puzzling me for ages:
Why did Kamikaze-pilots wear crash helmets?

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